Py Kim Conant (web) styles herself as an American Geisha, rather, she gives advice to other women on how they can become American Geisha like her. At 35, Korean-American Conant found herself coming out of a five-year relationship in which her significant other never once told her she was beautiful, that he loved her, or gave any concrete hints that he wanted to be with her rather than just biding time with her because he did not have other options available to him at the moment. She was one of those women who had given up on finding love but who was in love with the idea of being in love . . . one of those women who had given up but who had not quite yet given up on the idea of finding the right good man.
She was pudgy and had convinced herself that her looks should not matter, that men should see the beauty underneath . . . only to be reminded time and time again that she may have been deluding herself.
At 35, she made a deal with herself that she would make changes, core changes within herself and about herself so she would no longer have to settle for men who were basically using her and then discarding her. Her dream was to be married to a GOOD MAN and she read anything and everything to figure out how to attract that good man, satisfy him, and keep him.
She build a program, transformed herself physically, emotionally, sexually, and any other way she could and then she found a man, her GOOD MAN, and married him.
Her book SEX SCRETS OF AN AMERICAN GEISHA, is a gimmick book . . . it capitalizes upon the popularity of the Hollywood geisha films but it actually has more to offer than a marketing ploy. In the book, Connant takes on the persona of the geisha elder sister giving advice and teaching her geisha little sisters, the readers of the book, how to please a man and how to be the sort of person that men are attracted to, are satisfied with, and marry and stay with. Do not get me wrong, this is not merely another one of those insipid "how to marry a man" books, although it certainly is aimed at that particular target market.
This is a book on self-transformation for women who have found themselves having difficulty in meeting, dating, and bonding with men. It is really the female version of the various dating and seduction courses out there aimed at men . . . but just as men and women think differently, the goals of many of the male seduction texts are to love ’em and leave ’em, the goal of this program is to love ’em and keep ’em . . . and to do so congruently, allowing the woman to become free within herself and to learn to enjoy her own sexuality and appropriately sharing it with her GOOD MAN.
Connant fills the text with anecdotes, personal stories that illustrate her points. From the tale of her multi-year cross-Atlantic affair with a man she could only see very few times a year only to hear complaints from him that her vagina was too tight to enjoy sex (causing her to spend time sticking in multiple fingers in order to loosen herself for him, while he did not disclose that true cause of his sexual difficulties with her came from an erectile dysfunction) or her story of a college crush in which she approached a fellow and made her intentions known only to be bluntly rebuffed with a "why should I want you, you don’t even act like a woman?" and worse.
With the anecdotes (many depressing, others uplifting) comes advice. The advice ranges from building self-improvement programs for weight, fashion (how short should a skirt be seem sensual but classy and not sexy and trashy and how many unbuttoned buttons should one have when braless?), relationships (how and where to meet your GOOD MAN), and more. Some of the advice may be typical for such books but other advice is very much nearly unique to Connant . . . how to worship and build a shrine to your man’s penis, how women can learn to female ejaculate and why they should . . . and more.
As I posted previously, Connat and her advice seems to be somewhere between the Surrendered Wife movement and the Gorean kajira. She endeavors to show women how they can remain feminists while being feminine-ists with their significant others. Conant’s geisha consciousness is not that of the real geisha of Japan, but rather a mixture and Americanization of key concepts and attitudes towards relationships with men and with oneself.
Interesting read . . . I enjoyed it, you might too . . . get it here.
All the best,
Brian
SPECIAL VALENTINE LOVERS HYPNOSIS – Feb. 10, 2007
Brian David Phillips, PhD, CH [phillips@nccu.edu.tw]Certified Hypnotherapist
President, Society of Experiential Trance
Associate Professor, NCCU, Taipei, Taiwan
http://www.BrianDavidPhillips.com
