Every once in awhile, I receive a request via email that just doesn’t work on so many different levels. Often, I file these away and even more often I just move them into inbox file thirteen. Today, I received the following query:

"Dear, Prof. Phillips, I am a transgendered person and have always had the fantasy of becoming a woman. I cannot afford surgery and would really like your help. Could you hypnotize me via email to forget my male past and only remember my female identity so that I completely forget that I have ever been a man? I would like you to hypnotize me so that I dress only as a woman and do not see or feel my male genitals. I know that hypnosis helps people who are infertile so I would also like you to help me grow a womb so that someday I may conceive a child."

Uh, short answer . . . no. Long answer . . . really, no.

For what should be pretty obvious reasons, normally, I would just delete this sort of query as it reads a whole lot like a troll or something I really don’t want to deal with . . . along with the "diaper and bedwetting" requests or the "turn my wife into a slut" queries . . . however, I have received this sort of request in the past from folks who did seem genuinely under a misaprehension of just what hypnosis can or can’t do.

So, I thought I’d give it a go and give an answer of sorts with my take on the subject.

The long and short of it is "no" but there are a number of issues raised by this particular query that I thought I’d go over my take on them here. Others may or may not disagree, that is their perogative. I do know of a number of folks who would say "yes" to this sort of request but here is my take.

First off, I wouldn’t suggest doing anything dealing with identity or permanent memory via email, nor would I suggest anyone do therapy for deeper issues online. Find yourself a qualified and competent therapist and go from there. Don’t assume you know what the outcome or process of the therapy should be either.

While I do believe email hypnosis can be interesting, I limit such things to recreational application. When doing therapy, you really need a guide there with you doing the process with you and working the feedback loop. If you could do deep-seated changework of this type via email, then you could just read a book and get on with your life. Unfortunately, memory doesn’t work that way and neither does identity. Oh, sure, some guy sitting under a samadhi tree could have an astounding positive change when the ol’ apple falls on his head but most folks would do well to have a qualified and competent guide helping them through the process right there with them.

When changing your identity in some way, with the goal of making it for the better in some way, it really doesn’t do much good for the organims as a whole to repress things, that is to TRY to forget who you were or what you experienced. Sure, when folks undergo extremely negative experiences, their psyche may repress things for protection . . . and in so doing, that energy gets trapped, working its way into various behaviors, sometimes good sometimes very much not so good. The energy is always there, and will often manifest itself in someway.

There are folks out there with ideas on memory modification to create new identities to the point that a person in effect represses the actual memories in favor of the new ones (particularly in reference to transgendered individuals and trauma victims). The efficacy of this approach doesn’t jibe with my experience and if we were in fact able to find someone suggestible enough to take on that sort of suggestion, which is highly unlikely anyway, the process I believe it would create more dysfunctions than help people. Personally, I prefer integrating the new value sets into the personality or helping folks come to terms with their past and having the person move on with their new understandings of reality rather than try to repress old realities.

I believe such an approach of complete escapism for these issues at best would be completely ineffectual and at worst could prove dangerous to the personality and while in the short run it may seem workable with a small percentage of folks, in the long haul the repressed or negative energy must express itself.

A better approach . . . in my opinion . . . would be to provide new frameworks for looking at the past so that the negative or inappropriate memories can be understood as being part of the past where they can be left. We can then focus on building new responses to life and a new identity unburdoned by the past. Use the past as a resource into the future, not as something to be hidden away or to be frightened of.

Of course, as to trans-gendered issues . . . I know there are a number of "fetish" hypnosis sites that cater to this . . . but, I would suggest that if anyone has real desire to move into a real transgendered life they really shouldn’t be talking to amatuer hypnotists or the like who often promise the moon without a real understanding of the issues, they should be talking to therapists. There are some outstanding folks out there who are therapists who specialize with alternative lifestyle issues, seek them out if you can’t find someone locally. When it comes to transgendered issues, it is very important to distinguish between someone who truly is transgendered and someone who has a fantasy or fetish regarding gender roles or sexuality. Don’t confuse the one for the other.

As to using hypnosis to change personality. Sure, the stage hypnotist may do that . . . poof, you’re Michael Jackson so sing and dance for us . . . but that’s not the same as permanent identity change. There’s more to it than a simple suggestion.

On to growing a womb, yes, hypnosis has been shown very helpful in fertility issues and helping with infertility casses . . . however, while hypnosis has been shown to be a positive factor in healing and accellerating tissue regeneration to some extent, despite what the guys selling the "cellular hypnosis" and "change your DNA with hypnosis" products may tell you, it doesn’t grow new bodyparts . . . amputated limbs don’t come back and certainly a biological woman won’t grow a penis and a biological male will not suddenly have a working womb . . . the stage hypnotist may help you have the temporary hallucination of such but that is not the same thing and regardless of what you may have seen in the Tenacious D "butt baby" video, guys don’t have babies through the placebo effect. Give it up, yes, hypnosis can help you come to terms with the fact that as a biological male you will never become pregnant and have babies . . . no, hypnosis won’t help you escape the laws of biology . . . regarless of desires or rights whatever Sister Loretta may be espousing in "Monty Python’s Life of Brian."

I hope this has been helpful.

All the best,
Brian