The good folks at Forumosa are discussing the deep and pleasing and delightful subject of female turn ons and the rhetorical set on the largest sexual part of a woman’s body is with the classic answer of the brain.
Yep . . . when a woman’s imagination is engaged, then erotic response is very straightforward. Here is an example of just how that works . . . Why an Orgasm is all in the Mind.
This is particularly true when you’re in an ongoing committed relationship as we build shortcuts to emotional responses all the time. For instance, those of you who have a lover with whom you have had . . . romantic . . . responses with (that means erotic for those who don’t catch the drift) there is probably a certain way, a particular body posture or touch or look or nibble on the ear, whatever with which you signal romantic interest or your lover signals his or her interest. Most of us have a certain way our lover can look at us that signals sexual desire and immediately initiates an erotic or at least romantic response in us. For instance, if "your" woman gently places her hand upon your arm or leg and looks into your eyes, perhaps gently biting her lower lip as she ever so slightly tilts her head to one side, that might elicit and erotic response and over time we might begin to associate that look and pose and action with our own erotic responses. Most women find that when they’ve been with a man with whom they have a passionate loving experience over time that they find themselves responding to certain behaviors automatically. So, every time he holds her in a certain way, perhaps the right hand on her left side just over the hip on the back and his left arm wrapped around her and resting over her upper back so his fingers trace a gentle soft whisper of a touch upon her neck below her left ear and as he pulls her hips to his and gently bends her body back into a long deep soulful kiss and her eyes almost automatically close as her entire body seems to melt in that one instant as what may have been a neutral state before gives way to a fire, a passion, a burning need for him right then and right now. Over time, as this behavior is repeated, it becomes a trigger response set . . . Pavlov’s dog without the food but the bell eliciting instead of drooling but a burning response.
We do this naturally . . . to the point that we don’t even notice it anymore, it just happens.
Of course, one can do it overtly or covertly with others once you know what the mechanism is. So, every time your boyfriend takes out the garbage you kiss him deeply and say "thank you" (be careful about inadvertently setting erotic responses to garbage though, take it easy) or every time your girlfriend is aroused you whisper in a certain way or touch her in a certain place and then as she is becoming more aroused you gently move your finger up her arm and look her deeply and passionately in the eyes and say "feel that even more" or whatever so that she associates that moving or sliding measure to an increase in passionate response (setting and then sliding anchors, for those familiar with the terms from neurolinguistic programming).
So, once you’ve answered what turns a woman on, you can create contexts for that arousal and set anchors to increase her pleasure (which increases your own). These don’t even have to be erogenous zones – that is, physical pleasure locations or obvious sexual points – for a woman to find touch or caressing or the like pleasurable. Gentle whispers or gentle soft blowing on the side of the neck or elsewhere can be very much a turn on for many women . . . once an appropriate relationship has been established and a context based conditioned response set has been appropriately built.
Of course, while it can be delightful to have a caring and loving relationship so that one knows that one can appropriately create an erotic response even with a single word (not even a so-called four letter or colorful word), certain areas of the body are certainly fun to play with . . . nipples are wonderful little buttons (tender buttons as Gertrude Stein called them in her book) and can also demonstrate the whole mind-body connection thing very very powerfully . . . supercharged erotic connections, so to speak . . . a couple specific examples:
Now, if you really want to see how wonderfully a woman can respond in a very powerful and sexual way merely by using her imagination, then there is always the "no touch orgasm" . . . it can work with men but I have found women to be very very responsive to imaginative stimulation alone to the point that most women can not only learn to become extremely sexually aroused merely through guided imagination (and there are indeed patterns that one can use to help a woman achieve just this), but many (well, every woman I’ve ever done this with) can also learn to achieve orgasm through words alone . . . no touch . . . just listening to your words and imagining so vividly that their bodies respond powerfully in fullblown orgasm and climax. Good stuff:
- The NO TOUCH Hypnotic Orgasm and How to Achieve It
- Hypno-Orgasm and Trance-Pleasure (straightforward processes and how to do them)
No, you don’t have to be a full blown hypnotist to do this sort of stuff with an appropriate partner. Yes, I’ve taught hypnotists how to do it (I do a lot of hypnosis training type stuff) but for this sort of couples stuff, one need only have a willing and open mind and an appropriate partner to practice with. In all honesty, those with an interest can check the links I’ve included above . . . or the whole archive of my essays on Erotic and Sexual Hypnosis as there really is enough there to get you started (of course, when my book comes out, buy it – albeit, there will be a handbook with the upcoming course as well). However, if anyone is interested in attending the next full workshop I will be teaching on this subject to members of the public, I have one coming up for five evenings in Taipei during the week of Valentine’s Day (kind of a week-long Valentine’s Gift for oneself and one’s significant other). It’s intended for couples but singles may join the class (signing up with a practice partner is a good idea as it’s a practical course with both demonstration and practice and some folks are uncomfortable having a stranger of the same sex talk them through an orgasm). That bit is just for your information as it is on topic and of interest to some, the meat of this post is above and nonpromotional while the resources linked do have a lot on this stuff so that many folks can learn to do it with an appropriate willing partner without taking a course.
If you have questions, please feel free to post them (or email). This is a topic I can go on and on and on about. Pleasure experience engineering is just an inherently interesting topic . . . and pasttime.
All the best,
Brian
Brian David Phillips, PhD, CH [phillips@nccu.edu.tw]
Certified Hypnotherapist
President, Society of Experiential Trance
Associate Professor, NCCU, Taipei, Taiwan
http://www.briandavidphillips.com
https://briandavidphillips.net/
http://briandavidphillips.libsyn.com
