Eek has a headsup on using cold reads to build rapport that is worth noting.

Cold reading is a technique of telling people about themselves. It is used by psychics or mentalism performers. It should be distinguished from hot reading which uses information one has gained secretly but the mark is not aware that you have that information. Most of the big name psychics on television who claim to have extrasensory powers are using simple cold reading and hot reading . . . some also use creative editing of video footage to appear to be more accurate than they are (in other words, they’re manipulative lying gits).

Don’t get me wrong, while hot reading and cold reading are real systems used by entertainers and by cheats and charlatans, that doesn’t mean extrasensory or psychic powers do not exist. It merely means that one should first eliminate the obvious trickery before buying into the more exceptional explanations. Contrary to what some skeptics will have you believe, Houdini did believe in psychic power and so was doubly frustrated when he found so many fakes using simple illusion sets to trick others. He didn’t expose fakes because he didn’t believe in psychic abilities, he exposed fakes because they were worthless lying cheats and because he was searching for someone with genuine abilities.

Now, that’s all well and good . . . but what’s the point of this post?

For one thing, I believe it is of little value to think of cold reading being used for building rapport. Rather, we should think of it as a means to enhance rapport. Cold reading does not create rapport in and of itself, in order for true cold reading to be effective, one has to already have some degree of rapport working for one. The usefulness of cold reading can be seen as a way to accellerate rapport intensification. However, be very wary of using it as a demonstration of psychic power as that is going too far and will backfire. Use it as a genuine psychological principle and do not give it more dressing than required. There are some very simple and some very complex systems out there. For the purposes of rapport enhancement, since the cold reading is not the real outcome effect but a mediation effect, then some of the simpler systems are strong enough to work well, as long as they created more than Forer’s simplistic effects and as long as they are not misrepresented as something they are not. Personally, I get so tired of coming across really mediocre cold readers who claim to have psychic or supernatural powers. Give me a break. Now, I’ve demonstrated the effects and then had a time convincing someone that I don’t have such powers (including full professors at highly prestigious universities as well as highly placed government officials) but that is a different matter (I have my own strategies for handling that when it happens). Be aware that some people have deep religious beliefs which cause them to mistakenly believe such effects are something they are not as well. Tread lightly with such individuals lest they draw you into a ridiculous and pointless debate that they can’t by the very nature of their beliefs be swayed from. Cut your losses and walk the fuck away.

The article Eek points to is on using cold reading to build rapport which he characterizes as "Worth reading, especially for the 11 standard cold reads listed at the bottom.".

I commented there but will reiterate my thoughts here in that while I believe the piece is indeed worth reading, I would suggest there are some stronger approaches to cold reading that give a much more powerful and valuable effect, especially if one is after creating an enhanced rapport experience. The example cold read shots he gives are very blanket and don’t have the power of authentic cold reading as they rely more upon the Forer Effect (named for psychologist Bertram R. Forer who worked on this issue, publishing the paper "The Fallacy of Personal Validation: A classroom Demonstration of Gullibility" in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology in 1949).

True cold reading best accesses actual information about the subject and ideally helps them work through to insights regarding issues facing them. It is best approached when it has value to the subject beyond the simple minded effect of globalized meaning.

I strongly reccommend the "Simply Cold" system by Kenton Kneppers (that and more advanced products for professional magicians are available from Kenton at Wonder Wizards) as it is very simple, straightforward, easy to learn, and very powerful. It is a genuine cold reading system rather than a series of blanket statements that apply to anyone and everyone. I have taught it to many of my students who report they have found it to be very effective. While the sort of gambits he lists might work with some folks, others will recognize them to be general statements that could apply to anyone. A true cold reading system goes beyond that and begins getting real information and feeding it back to a person. True cold reading can be wonderful for therapy as well as entertainment.

Of course, my students get a taste of all this in my classes as I often use and teach psychological forcing and mentalist effects to demonstrate principles.

All the best,
Brian
http://www.briandavidphillips.com