One of the current threads at Forumosa is about a case in Thailand where the wife refuses sexual favors and the husband/cuts off own member. Evidently the wife had been refusing sexual advances for some time so the guy finally just snapped, got drunk, cut off his penis, and then chopped it into bits. A few folks are of the mind that the wife is responsible for the breakdown while others feel it all lies with the man. Personally, I think the guy should be blamed for cutting his own penis off and then mincing it but the couple should be held responsible for the failures in relationship building that got them there.

One fellow posted that the husband must have been a tough marine to cut off his own penis while drunk and then slice it into small pieces. More likely . . . not a marine but just really pissin’ drunk. He was feeling no pain and evidently feeling no brain cells as well.

Regardless of the ongoing sexual relationship issues for this couple and whether they are primarily the man’s fault or the woman’s fault or most likely of the “it takes two to mess up a tango” variety, the guy is the one who got pissed, got drunk, chopped off misterhappytrails and then minced it. He did that. This is not a Lorena Bobbit, this was a guy whackin’ his meat with a weed whacker so to speak.

He’s obviously got something goin’ on that needs immediate attention and some serious work to be done on appropriate ways to express deeply felt emotional stress.

When you marry and then have difficulties in that marriage – and constant refusal of sexual advances is a difficulty (once in awhile, one partner might say no for whatever reason but for it to be every single time for a long time then something’s goin’ on that needs payin’ attention to) – you need to work to fix problems in a relationship. If it can’t be fixed, then . . . personally . . . I believe divorce is a valid option, certainly a much better option than cutting your penis off. If he did not feel divorce was an option, then couples therapy, couples therapy, couples therapy. Work to fix the difficulties. If he’s a lousy lay then he needs to learn how to be a better one. If she’s a frigid ice queen then she needs to learn how to warm up a bit so the fire of passionate desire burns deep within her loins and her heart for her man . . . or, whatever. They should both learn to communicate their needs and how to please each other while getting to the core of what they need.

I don’t think it’s fair to blame the woman for the guy chopping his third leg off, he did that all by himself. However, they both share the blame of screwing up the relationship. Married people should have sex . . . it’s part of why we get married. Sex is a physiological need that humans have, married partners are best advised to anchor sexual desire into their mate . . . it’s good for the individual and good for the relationship. If they don’t know how to do that, then help is available . . . from therapy to simple skill sets to more . . . simple hygiene or respect of one’s partner (it isn’t just sexual technique or obligation, there’s a lot of stuff that should be basic understanding . . . heck, go back to the classics and read Ovid and you’ll see advice on bathing, grooming, even trimming fingernails so they don’t inadvertantly scratch one’s lover) . . . for those who are open to really learning how to help a partner feel the full range of possibilities so that sex within the relationship is a thrilling and exciting and very deeply loving and passionate experience for both partners, there is also this material (I recently taught an advanced skills mentorship class for professional hypnotists in Taipei and this was actually one of the topics requested that we cover, lots of fun but turns out very useful for the participants) . . . some of the techniques are very simple and straightforward and very useful . . . based upon informed consent, mutual exploration, and pleasing one another (albeit, for the Thai penis chopping couple they are well beyond the help of this sort of stuff and need some real therapeutic intervention . . . they need to run, not walk, to the nearest therapy center).

There is no good reason for a woman to be nonorgasmic if there are no physiological or medical causes. In my sexual life, I have never met a non-orgasmic woman. Never. I have met adult women who had previously never had an orgasm, but I helped them learn how to respond and release themselves into surrendering to the experience so that they became multiorgasmic. Of course, once I became a hypnotist, I learned how to help women become multiorgasmic from a touch, a word, a smell, a look, and even an idea . . . a single thought that slips in and slides deep down into their essence where their responsiveness lies so that they immediately feel themselves melting into a deep romantic passionate sense of self, freedom, and . . . well, not non-orgasmicness. I would love to teach another workshop on these skill sets so if enough couples in Taipei would like to give it a go, we’ll set another one up.

All the best,
Brian