So, on an inteveiw with the BBC, Paul McKenna not only admitted to nonconsensually hypnotizing his girlfriend into liking something she did not like but he wanted her to like, he told the listening audience how to do it.
The host jokingly was asking whether or not McKenna could get his wife to like sports and McKenna immediately said yes and then describes how he got an ex-girlfriend to like curry . . . listen here.
A few things, the process he describes is simple anchoring . . . a process I teach and it really is very easy to do. Some folks wouldn’t really call this hypnosis while others do . . . McKenna does. It is certainly a form of waking suggestion.
Now . . . that’s all well and good . . . but . . . it’s the nonconsensual nature of the action that is important here. McKenna is advocating the use of manipulation in a relationship based upon one partner’s desire to see change in another without any real concern for that partner’s consent. Essentially, you should change to be the sort of person I want you to be because I have the tools to make a change within you regardless of whether or not you wish the change or are aware that I am doing it.
The interviewer rightly suggests that this is an ethical breach on McKenna’s part to which McKenna sidesteps by saying that he only wanted her to try it and if she truly didn’t like curry then it would not have stuck.
This is partially true . . . simple anchoring doesn’t change deep core beliefs that quickly . . . however, it’s a copout. He nonconsensually manipulated his girlfriend.
Note that McKenna very clearly says this is an EX-Girlfriend . . . while it’s not clear that his tendancy to nonconsensually mindfuck and manipulate life partners was the main reason for his inability to stay in a relationship, one would wonder.
I often get questions and emails from folks wanting to know how to nonconsensually manipulate others . . . I always send them on their way as I am very careful to teach techniques within a consensual model . . . one that very strongly stresses the concepts of Safe, Sane, and Informed Consent. If someone does not wish a change, then I don’t believe it is ethical for others to force that change without their consent. This is not an issue of public health or personal safety . . . if someone’s endangering others there are contexts where others must step in . . . no, this is an issue of preference and one partner manipulating another just because they can. Sure, sociopaths do indeed learn NLP and certain hypnosis skills and I think it’s important to be able to recognize manipulation to defend against it but in the instance that McKenna describes, this isn’t even an ethical gray area as he tries to present it. He was selfish and he inappropriately manipulated his girlfriend . . . he says he told her about what he did much later after she developed a love for curry . . . note that she is an EX-GIRLFRIEND. Seriously, if he had been honest, all he had to do is just ask her to go out to a curry restaurant and if she didn’t like it RESPECT HER enough to respect her personal taste. I don’t like seafood (well, that’s really not the appropriate sentiment, more like I loathe it with a detest that has no bottom but I go to seafood restaurants where my wife and daughter can enjoy it . . . when they are in the mood for something that lived in the murky depths they just make sure the menu has something for me or they go when I am otherwise engaged). It ain’t hard to respect others, especially if they are loved ones. McKenna doesn’t tell us how he’d feel if he learned someone had done that sort of thing to him.
Because I know the methods, I am a bit more sensitive to their use than many and I know that when I’ve caught folks using covert influence and manipulation techniques on me it’s destroyed trust . . . it’s even wiped out a few friendships over the years.
Actually, the method McKenna describes in this audio is one that I teach quite a bit and have demonstration videos on myself doing it . . . the difference being that I always stress CONSENSUAL anchoring and the like.
A few years ago, I received several emails from folks asking about my new book and when I told them that I had no clue whatever in the world they were talking about they gave me the title “How to Hypnotize Your Wife into Having Sex” which since it’s about hypnosis and it’s sexual hypnosis and it’s written by someone with my name . . . they assumed it was mine . . . it wasn’t. It was written by David Brian Phillips PhD while I am Brian David Phillips PhD. After I got a hold of a copy (I do NOT recommend it as it’s only ten pages and it’s very basic material) I discovered it was simple anchoring and nonconsensual at that. Folks, if you want to have sex with your wife or girlfriend then just ASK. If you want to increase your chances then use CONSENSUAL SEDUCTION methods – which I do teach workshops on. Let’s leave wanton selfish manipulation to the sociopaths . . . although, I encourage folks to learn their methods so that they are better defended against such nonsense (caveat emptor, most products and trainers on the interwebs claiming to teach such material are not very good at it and many are using bait and switch to claim powerful methods and really just teaching really basic stuff . . . I’ve taught social influence at university for twenty-five years, trust me there are powerful techniques but most of the folks out there claiming to teach ’em are blowing smoke).
You want to learn powerful techniques that can be done in consenting loving and caring relationships? There are plenty, my training materials are based upon an open and consensual model.
Please, be good and have good done to you.
All the best,
Brian
http://www.briandavidphillips.com
