Lorraine and I went to the theatre today to see 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy mainly because we’re familiar with the Rou Pu Tuan (Prayer Mat of Flesh), the novel the film is flimsily based upon, a number of other film adapations, and we love 3D film . . . we honestly were not expecting the current film to be great cinema in any sense of the word . . . and we were not disappointed, and then some. It’s as if the filmmakers went out of their way to make not only a bad film but a truly disjointed and confused inane collection of scenes complete with as non-erotic a mess of blood and violence as they could think of in their so-called erotic cinematic masterpiece (hint, just because a woman is topless it does not mean a film should be considered erotic . . . double hint, if you are slicing off a man’s penis in a film and decide to show bloody surgical cloths, the next scene consisting of an orgy is not going to be all that erotic . . . it’s just oddly pathological).

Now, don’t get me wrong . . . far from it . . . I am more than a casual fan of adult entertainment, much more. I am also a very big fan of 3D films . . . and I know a thing or two about Chinese literotica.

However, I can’t for the life of me think of enough persuasive reasons for the current abomination that is 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy to have even been made, let alone for this simplistic near-torture-porn extravaganza to have beaten out Avatar for first day receipts in Hong Kong . . . not even for the fact that it has nudity which seems to be all the reason movie going audiences need to see incredibly bad acting, horrible storytelling, and inane ideas realized on screen.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Well, here’s the safe-for-work-sort-of trailer for the piece:

And, if you can stomach more . . . here’s a NOT SAFE FOR WORK trailer with boobies for those who can manage to make it past the incredibly boring sensationalist press bits about the film before the good stuff – and by good stuff, I do not in anyway wish to give the impression that anything is good about this film other than a few of the breasts and naked bodies which are pretty good (but only a few as most of the nudity is NOT performed by particularly attractive performers . . . in Hong Kong, if any actress is willing to pose nude then the press will sing her praises as a beauty regardless of any connection or lack thereof with reality).

If you are a member of this webpage, you can see the NSFW ADULT-ORIENTED trailer for the film here. If you are not a member, then just go ahead and click on the membership link in the sidebar and join (it’s free) then come back after you have verified your membership and this and all the other exclusive or secret content will be open to you.

This content is for members only.

You get the picture.

In the press 3D Sex and Zen is hailed as the first big budget 3D porn . . . this is only partially correct, it’s the first big budget adult film as in softcore for Hong Kong, it is NOT the first big budget adult film (the parody of Avatar was before this one and it was also much better and there have been a number of other films of this type made well before the Hong Kong piece – particularly if you include R-rated softcore films . . . the 3D Sex and Zen as released in theatres is NOT porn, it’s a feeble attempt at softcore raunch but it is not porn per se in that while you can indeed see breasts and pubic hair on women, you cannot see any genuine erect penises and there is only one scene where a penis is even shown and it’s a “body double stunt penis” of sorts and most definitely neither erect nor in any definition of the term erotic.

Of course, a film that has as a central premise scenes with bloody penis amputations or transplants is really hard to think of as erotic but there it is.

Now, this film is obviously inspired by an earlier Hong Kong film Sex and Zen which starred Amy Yip but that film – other than having a few really attractive actresses involved who were willing to go semi-nude honestly wasn’t that good either. Like the current film, it was softcore stuff. Actually, as far as I am concerned the BEST cinematic adaptation of the novel Prayer Mat of Flesh was an even earlier hardcore porn film called Prayer Mat of Flesh which not only had full on penis-into-vagina penetration, it also had better storytelling and much better acting the the original Sex and Zen series and was megatons of higher quality than the current film.

Seriously, unless you are a big 3D and adult-entertainment buff like me, don’t waste your money on this film . . . instead, wait until it’s on home disk and then watch it via fastforward to the naked bits, skipping the rest . . . of . . . better yet . . . give it a miss altogether!

Now to those of you who think this review is a bit harsh and enjoyed the film, please understand that this is MY opinion only, you are certainly welcome to your own opinion. I have no problem with others being wrong, that is their right.

Some might say that we shouldn’t discourage folks from making adult-oriented 3D films and I agree to a point . . . however, neither should be coddle or allow mediocrity of vastly lower our standards in filmmaking just because it’s got boobies or it’s in 3D. I asked Lorraine how in the world this film could make more money than Avatar in the first day as it couldn’t possibly be because of positive press reviews as no reasonable critic could have possibly given this drivel a pass and she said she wasn’t sure as critics may not know how to evaluate this sort of film . . . I think they should evaluate it the same as any other film that crosses their path. If it’s being given major release in commercial theatres then audiences need to know that it’s crap. If we allow 3D films to skip on story or character and live wholly on spectacle then we’re cheapening the craft and we’re lowering the chances of good films being made this way. Just because a film has naked girls is no excuse to not have good storytelling.

In my opinion . . . you are free to disagree . . . in your own time and space you have every right to be wrong and wrong you would be if you thought this was anything more than sexploitation gone horribly wrong . . . and this is coming from someone who actually normally enjoys a good solid sexploitation flick.

All the best,
Brian