More discussion on the Influence Street Patterns Seduction Videos thread on the Hypnosis Technique Exchange.

(Images from Wataru’s Street Hypnosis on Gilgamesh Nights.)

Guys and Gals are different. However, while women do not look at superficial looks the way men do, it is dangerous to assume that looks mean nothing to women. Guys, you still have to get your foot in the door. Also, there are age and maturity factors in the equation. As women become more mature, looks become less important and other factors such as humor, gentleness, responsibility, and ability to provide become more important. Humor and gentleness get you a long way regardless of age (hint: gentleness does not mean submissive).

While most studies show that women look for very different things in terms of long term commitment from men, in the short term looks still have some leverage. You don’t have to look like a movie star to get to your foot in the door, but it still helps. Having said that, don’t assume that’s all it takes or that looks don’t figure at all.

Be healthy and well groomed. I know of a number of guys who would increase their desirability to women exponentially if they would just bathe, shave, comb their hair and put on clean clothes.

You don’t have to come off as a slick snake oil salesman with a three-piece suit and slicked back hair, but you may want to run a comb through those unruly locks and change out of the torn and stained t-shirt.

Here is an EXPERIMENT for the unattached fellows and ladies among our readiers here who are up to it (gals, you can play the same game) . . . now, put on a ratty old shirt and stained jeans or sweats and mess your hair up real good, greasy hair helps, the kind that hasn’t been washed for a couple days, and perhaps get some fish oil and smear it on your chest if you can . . . now, walk around – in a part of the city where you aren’t likely to meet folks you know, if you prefer – and walk up to twenty strangers of the appropriate gender and stare into their eyes – NOT look, but stare – and ask for the time and when they tell you step in a little closer and put your hand on the person’s arm or shoulder. and ask if they’d like to go have some coffee sometime (remember, stare into their eyes). Wait for a response. Regardless of the response, then ask for their telephone number – remember, keep staring. Then break off. Go home. Take THREE SHOWERS (get that fish stink out). Wash, dry, and comb your hair neatly. Put on NICE CLOTHES (slacks, shirt and tie for guys and pretty dress for gals – comfortable, not formal wear). Go off and do it again with another twenty or so people, this time no staring, just look into their eyes in an honest and friendly way – the trick it to FEEL friendly and playful as you do this – and then come back and report on your results. Be sure to post photographs of your "ratty" and "clean" looks so we have a frame of reference. Do it for FUN and see what happens.

Some say that for first encounters and initial attraction, physical attractiveness counts for 90% of the equation. For a number of men, that may be true and certainly for women physical will play a part. However, on the whole, women will start looking beyond simple looks early.

While many men will not look past a woman’s physical characteristics in initial selection, Women have a wider range of what is attractive in terms of looks as long as the guy also has other qualities that are attractive. A guy can be a big ol’ round fellow and still have an incredibly beautiful wife who loves him deeply (this I know . . . it is my life).

Looks and youth may help for some . . . but that’s not the whole game either. Unless you’re a sixty year old guy hitting on college girls, youth is not really the point, vitality and health are more important.

A big factor in communication is the non-verbal element, and part of that is simple grooming and presentation.

Some folks look to seduction systems and the like to level the playing field. This is not really what they are marketed as. Ideally, they would be simple systems to tutor folks on social skills. However, for one thing, these so-called seduction systems aren’t touted as a playing field levelers. Most of the vendors are claiming outstanding results to dominate the field. In practice this is not the case for most so-called speed and other seduction system practitioners and those for whom success has been extreme are for the most part not just relying upon those skills, they also have natural aptitude, talent, and GROOMING going for them as well as other attributes.

However, these systems will increase the success of a lot of folks merely as a means of giving them something to say. To many guys who would like to meet women don’t do very well simply because they don’t have confidence and something to say. If you do nothing, then you will harvest it in abundance.

I’ve been seeing a few "seduction system this or that type" webpages of late . . . Why oh why are so many of these guys sticking their text in a box and then babbling at us in hyperbole and using yellow text blocks like a high school kid went craaazy with the highlighter? Is that supposed to be persuasive is it just to let us know they copied the same webpages as everyone else? Guys, highlighters are for students to remember points, not for folks to sell them. Simple, clean, up front and congruent delivery is a much safer and honest way to present your product. Girls aren’t going to respond to some guy shouting at them so why do you need to shout at your customers? Grrrrr. Then again, guys who respond to that sort of marketing may just need some tips on social skills as well.

The real tricks to any NLP-based system, like the real keys with ANY so-called seduction or influence system, are to have CONFIDENCE to get your ass out there and talk to ladies who might be interested in meeting you, to be able to establish RAPPORT with them so they feel COMFORTABLE with you and part of that is to have some sort of CONGRUENCE in terms of walking the walk and talking the talk and letting them know that you are being HONEST and OPEN with them about what you want and WHAT YOU CAN BRING TO THE TABLE FOR THEM so INTEGRITY STAYS AND BULLSHIT WALKS in that WHAT THEY SEE IS WHAT THEY GET, and to have a PLAYFUL sense of the process, while being able to SPEAK FROM THE HEART IN AN OPEN AND HONEST AND COMPETENT WAY, to have SOCIAL SKILLS that go beyond a memorized opening line so you can talk WITH THE PERSON not at them, to know WHEN AND HOW TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, AND SEXUALLY AT AN APPROPRIATE PACE WITH AN APPROPRIATE CONTEXT, and to CUT YOUR LOSSES AND WALK AWAY IF SHE HAS NO INTEREST OR IF THERE IS ANYTHING OUT OF SYNC OR DISSONANT ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP OR APPROACH. Failure teaches us but it should not teach us to fail.

The true SECRET to seduction and to ATTRACTING BEAUTIFUL WOMEN and otherwise . . . is . . . SIMPLE! If you want women to fall in love with you, then BE THE KIND OF GUY WOMEN FALL IN LOVE WITH! Don’t pretend to be that guy, BE that guy! Find out what she needs then GIVE IT TO HER! Duh!

If you want a woman to be YOUR OWN PERSONAL SEX SERVANT who will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you ask . . . and I mean ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you can think of . . . it’s EASY! Just BE THE KIND OF GUY who she can love with all of her heart and soul . . . and to do that, BECOME THAT GUY.

Make her FEEL GOOD! Make her FEEL LOVED! Make her FEEL DESIRABLE! How? Care about what she needs, feels, and wants . . . and provide her with those GOOD FEELINGS. Be confident, be reasonably healthy, learn some grooming skills, be able to talk to her like a human being (I know, women are from venues and men are from mars but we all pretend we’re from the same planet so learn to use that common language and talk WITH her not AT her) take her out, appreciate her, love her, care about her and how she feels, and love her. Did I mention, actually care about her?

RAPPORT AND CONGRUENCE ARE EASY! If, you really become that guy. BTW, that guy is not a wuss, he is not a tool, he is not macho caveman, he is a guy . . . comfortable with being a man with a woman . . . confident in his masculinity and appreciative of her femininity . . . he is a MAN!

You don’t have to emasculate yourself to be attractive to women nor
should you remove your higher brain functions and walk in a stoop with a club over your shoulders.

🙂 That little ramble was fun.

Consent. Rapport. Congruence. Rapport. Congruence. Social Skills. Grooming. Health. Grooming. Congruence. Rapport.

Speed seduction and other so-called seduction-targeted influence systems may increase a person’s odds, but if they don’t have these elements a person will still have some problems.

Be that as it may, the videos are still interesting. You will notice that the consent and rapport elements are very important. If you don’t have these, then you won’t go anywhere. If a woman in open and receptive to one approach, she is probably open and receptive to another. Having all of the elements together will increase one’s chances . . . either to GET LAID WITHIN TEN MINUTES which several of the seduction sites claim (but one never sees any actual FOOTAGE or MP3s of that – straight walk-up to actual beasties-with-multiple-backs) and don’t try to say that these FALSE ADVERTISERS are using that phrase as a METAPHOR (which I did read in an interview of one seduction guru who said that his use of the phrase I CAN TEACH YOU AND GUARANTEE THAT YOU CAN GET LAID WITHIN FIFTEEN MINUTES OF MEETING ANY WOMAN was merely a metaphor . . . yeah, right, I’m sure his testosterone-laden single-minded customers didn’t think so when they shelled out their piggy bank savings). I would still bet on Ugly George if he went head-to-head with a couple of the get-laid gurus and his approach is so much more refreshingly honest as far as the ladies are concerned.  If you don’t know . . . or, if you’re just too young to remember . . . who Ugly George is, see this earlier post which gives a brief summary of his modus operandi for his old public access television show, Ugly George’s Hour of Truth, Sex, and Violence – the first few of the video clips discussed in these posts are very reminiscent of his technique.

In any case, as I continue to babble . . . my metaphorical hat – the purple one – is off to the guys who posted the videos. Not only do they show some interesting consensual conversational play that obviously works as a communication event, despite being canned delivery of pattern (still hoping someone will post a reference to the patterns themselves, or at least post them here for inclusion in the archives) . . . showing it’s not just the pattern but delivery and context . . . but they also posted some rather quirky failures along with some intriguing almost-moments or near-misses. I believe he’s now on this list but I don’t know about you but I just wanted to rip the apple out of his hand! 🙂

Read my original post and see the videos here.

All the best,
Brian